a blog post I never published from September 23 about my depression, my now ex-boyfriend, and my best friend in college
Lately, there’s been this emptiness that’s been creeping up on me. It’s familiar. It reminds me of senior year of high school and the nights I spent still, staring at the ceiling feeling nothing for hours. Breathing is hard. My breaths feel long and intentional. When I exhale it feels as though my insides are quivering. Anxiety? Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. I don’t want to self-diagnose. What if I stopped breathing. I shouldn’t think like that.