Consent Is So Sexy

Imagine you’re making out with a really cute guy. He’s got you in his bed, that Summer Walker song is booming on the speaker, the lights are off, and the mood is just right. All of a sudden, he asks you…

“Do you want to?”

I open my eyes and look at Dorian Chaplin whose face is inches from mine. Did he just ask for my consent? It was just one question, but all of a sudden I was remembering my first partner about four years ago during my sophomore year of high school.

Where was that question then? My train of thought continued, Why didn’t my next boyfriend ask? Or the few others after that? 

For some reason, I found that him asking me for my consent made him 10x more attractive to me. How I was feeling mattered to him. I felt human. He was asking because he wanted to make sure I was comfortable, excited, and willing, and I heavily appreciated that.

Afterwards, I made sure to tell him, “You know, no one has ever asked me if it’s okay to keep going. They always just assume it is.”

He looked at me in shock.

I’d always thought of asking as not a big deal because of nonverbal cues, and would get kind of annoyed at my friends who preached the whole “consent is sexy” slogan, but when I was looking into his pale blue eyes on that bed as he waited for an answer, I realized how attractive it actually was to be on the same page. So this is just a short reminder from one skeptic to another that consent is sexy and I recommend everyone give it a try. Happy camping!

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